If you're like me, you love to eat. Particularly over-processed, sodium-filled, just-plain-bad-for-you food. It's delicious, and you want to just eat and eat and eat until you can't eat anymore. But you do anyway, because damnit, potato chips
Well, friends, I have the diet solution for you. It's easy, and you can do it from the comfort of the intertubes! Just go to Google Image Search (or the image search engine of your choice) and search "Carrot Top." When you see the results, you will lose any contents in your stomach that were consumed in the last two hours, and you'll likely lose any desire to eat for the next three hours.
That's five whole hours of zero calories!
And it's simple, just search.... Wait. What? You don't want to search for "Carrot Top?"
Well, prepare to lose your cookies. Just for you (because you're such a special client and the vice-president of our company is in town for only one day -- seriously, we never do this for anyone else), here's a preview of what you'll find: