08 April 2010

A Robbery of Three Liberal Arts Graduates: The Police Report

This McSweeney's piece by Eliot Nelson is over a month old, but I thought about it today. And, well, it's just really fucking funny. An excerpt:

Perp One then informed Mr. Wilson-Stern, Mr. Miller and Mr. Goldstein that if they followed instructions and kept their "bitch" mouths shut that it would be over soon and they could return to having sex with each other. Mr. Wilson-Stern informed Perp One that his assumption of their sexuality was indicative of America's entrenched heteronormative value system. Mr. Miller then informed Perp One that he was perpetrating society's patriarchal norms by using the word "bitch." Mr. Goldstein then asked Perp One to turn the television to The News Hour with Jim Leher.

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