30 January 2009

You can take the boy out of Iowa...

As of late, my fellow former Iowan, Ashton Kutcher, has been displaying some not-so-gosh-darn-nice Midwestern hospitality toward his neighbor, who is building some obscenely large mansion right next to Ashton's obscenely large mansion. And get this: construction has started at 7 a.m. and it is loud and Ashton has been losing sleep.

Because Ashton views himself as a role model, he has responded to the conflict in the most mature way, which is to say that he made a video where he calls his neighbor some not-so-nice names and wrote death threats toward his neighbor on his Twitter page. Oh, and then he posted the video on the internet for all the world to see:

And here are a few highlights from his Twitter:

  • I'm gonna kill my neighbor!
  • this ass clown has another thing coming!
  • holy moly I'm gonna lose it!
  • Jack ass 7am building a god damn fort next to my house f'in up my view and noise polluting the entire f'in nieghborhood with pounding steal
  • this SOB owl feces cougar placenta jack bone dick!
The internet: democratizing global communication for the good of humanity!

1 comment:

  1. I just twittered myself where the bathing suit covers.